Finally met another girl who was into chicks and we'd been talking for a bit, but we [were] both so new so it took us a little bit to get some traction. The participants overwhelmingly conceived of their sex lives as fluid, dynamic, and subject to change in response to life events, and one or both spouses from all but two lesbian and two straight couples reported a decline in sex during the course of their marriages.

Try the “come hither” technique, but be aware it doesn’t work for everyone, and ask your partner how they like to be fingered. Of all women, those in eight straight and eight lesbian couples framed their experiences in direct reference to cultural tropes of aging, sex, and marriage. I feel the muscles of her thighs relax, and I disengage my head from her clamped thighs, and find my way to her waiting mouth. And so I think to myself, it will be okay because eventually there will be a woman that I wake up next to who doesn’t make me feel that way because I know she’ll be there after breakfast, and that even if everybody else looks with disdain, she won’t. I grew up playing softball, and even though I occasionally felt attracted to women, I figured that I couldn't possibly be queer since, within the context I existed, being a lesbian (no one I knew was bisexual) meant that you were butch, which I'm not.If you purchase a product through these links, we will earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I ended up giving her a full-body massage with oil to see what she liked, and I've must've gone down on her at least three times. There was no question of me wanting another man, but there came the inevitable moment when our eyes held one another for an eternity, before our lips entwined in that first long, passionate kiss. That was the first of many times that we did that, and it began an over-a-year-long romance between the two of us.

The interesting thing about it is I’ve gone through menopause and I just don’t have a great sex drive anymore, and luckily she went through it similarly even though she’s 6 years … younger than me. As Danielle (straight) said about the loss of sex with her husband, “I don’t miss it, because all this medication I’m on, it’s removed all my drive. And I thought that was as good as it got, until I made her do the same thing, and that was even better. We laughed and giggled through our first of many awkward hookups before finally getting the hang of it, and a few weeks later, I asked her to be my girlfriend.While the woman and I kissed that night, we didn't take it any further—I think that we were both too nervous. Don’t feel pressured to use sex toys for your first WLW sexual experience, you may prefer to keep things simple. Both lesbian and straight women thus described distress when sexual feelings and activity put them at odds with perceived cultural norms. Likewise, lesbians’ and straight women’s experiences and interpretations of menopausal symptoms and sex after menopause may vary ( Winterich, 2003), but whether and how marital contexts drive women’s understandings of how aging processes shape sex remains unclear. All participants lived in Massachusetts at the time of interviews, which were conducted between 2012 and 2015.

I made a very honest Tinder profile stating that I was inexperienced but a very enthusiastic and reliable hookup. While it’s a good idea to understand lesbian labels and terms, it’s more important not to become fixated on them. She recently launched Love is Love, a collection celebrating the freedom to love whoever you want, whenever you want.Next, the “node” function, which highlights passages within each interview and also aggregates selected text from multiple transcripts, was used to group all discussions of sex and sexuality.